Quill, Parchment, & Ink

Title: Identity Crisis
Characters: Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Will Brandt, Phil Coulson, IMF OCs
Fandom: Avengers 2012, Mission Impossible 4
Series: Double Trouble
Written For:
Prompt: Natasha meets Will
Summary: Clint and Natasha think they’ve got a run of the mill assignment, but an unexpected meeting turns it into something a little more exciting than usual (and that’s saying something when these two are involved).
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: none really
Warnings: boys are double trouble, Clint is snarky, Will’s almost as bad, Natasha is terrifying even when she’s being good
Disclaimer: No one recognizable belongs to me, not making any money off this.
Author's Note: In case any of you were wondering how exactly Natasha made Will’s acquaintance, well…it wasn’t by just meeting him. Of course not, they can’t ever do things the easy way. This is pre-Avengers and pre-MI4, even pre-Croatia. Thanks to whogeek as always and special thanks to lillyg for the French translations.


“Hawk, are you still in position?” Natasha subvocalized her question as she watched at the man who’d caught her attention.

“Of course, Widow. Got you in my sight. And you look lovely as always. Stunning really,” her partner quipped.

“Then why am I looking at you on. The. Floor,” she demanded in a harsh whisper.

“That’s not me,” he immediately responded. “The light must be interfering with…” There was a pause and then he groaned. “So I might have forgotten to mention something…”

“That you left your position?”

“No. No, I’m still in position.”

“Then what? He or you are about to compromise. I need to move in on the mark.”

“His name is Will,” Clint replied quickly. “He’s not a threat, but you should probably make contact with him to make sure he’s not after the same person. Mention you’re working with me and you should be all right. I’m pretty sure you’re no longer on his team’s most wanted list. Or at least mentioning me means he won’t try to kill you right away.”

“That’s really not comforting,” Natasha told him, even as she started to slink towards Will.

“Lead with knowing me,” Clint said as Natasha tugged the bodice of her dress lower. “Oh, well that will help, too.”

“Shut up, Barton,” she hissed as she moved closer.

“But it’s so much more fun to try to distract you.”

Natasha didn’t respond to Clint’s words, instead wrapping her hands around the arm of the man she had noted as she put on a simpering look. “Chéri,” she purred. “Would you care to have a dance with me?” The man didn’t startle, but his eyes widened slightly when he turned his head to look at her. “Peace,” she continued in a quieter tone. “I’m a friend of Clint Barton’s. He says hello.”

The man’s grip tightened on her arm. “Where’s Clint?”

“Watching. Near-by. He can hear you. I need to know why you’re here.”

Will stared at her for a minute, then inclined his head. “You mentioned a dance?” He offered the hand not gripping her arm. “We’ll be less likely to be overheard.” He spun her out onto the dance floor when she put her hand in his and asked, “You’re telling me the Black Widow isn’t here to kill someone?”

“You can answer him, Tasha,” Clint said before she could formulate a reply. “I trust him.”

“You still haven’t given me a reason why,” Natasha responded without thinking.

“Clint?” Will asked. “Can he hear me?”

Natasha refrained from rolling her eyes. Really there couldn’t be two men as dense as Clint when breasts were on display. “I already said he could hear you,” she reminded the man.

Will glared at her in response. “I have no reason to trust you. In all honesty I should take you down and take you out this instant.”

“Not that the idea of you and Will getting into a throw down isn’t insanely hot,” Clint quipped, “but we don’t have time for this.”

“Barton,” Natasha growled.

Will had to chuckle at her expression. “Lemme guess. He said something either inappropriate or crude. Or both.”

“Clearly you’ve known him a while.”

“Longer than you can even guess. Have him tell you what I used to call him. If he tells you that…I’ll trust you, but only if. And repeat it to me.”

“Clint?” Natasha asked softly, turning her head slightly so Will couldn’t see her full face.

For a moment all she could hear was breathing on the other end of the comm, then Clint’s voice; no longer joking, came over clearly, “Peep. He used to call me Peep.”

Natasha’s face didn’t betray anything as she repeated, “Peep.”

“I’ve got a team of three. We’re after Jacques Renault, capture not kill. He’s got the codes for a new computer chip that will knock out a power source for a maximum of twenty minutes. Including electronic locks on bank vaults,” Will said quickly.

“Same. But it’s not a chip, it’s a modified Taser.” Natasha smiled at the surprise Will let show on his face. “Apparently our intel is a little more recent than yours? We don’t care so much about Renault. Our bosses want the Taser and the blueprints.”

“And what was your plan for getting close enough to get those things?” Will asked.

She tossed her hair, letting it cascade down her back. “He likes red-heads.”

“Not really what I expected from you,” Will admitted.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say anything, waiting for Will to explain.

“You have a reputation. You’re the Black Widow. You… Well, you’re slightly terrifying,” he admitted.

Clint started laughing. “Clearly he doesn’t know you very well if you’re only ‘slightly’ terrifying.”

“Not. Helping. Barton.”

“Not like he can hear me,” Clint sing-songed. “So are you gonna let him help us?”

“You are not being helpful, Clint,” she replied.

“We want Renault,” Will pointed out. “You want his data. I think we can work together and both get what we want.”

“Will your people follow your lead?” Natasha asked.

“Can you control Clint?” Will responded.

“Can anyone?” she countered.

“Point.” He spun her around, subtly indicating a waiter, then another dancing couple. “My team.”

“I’ve got eyes on them. Renault is watching, but not closely,” Clint replied. “He’s been watching you all evening, Tasha.”

“Good,” Natasha murmured. “Sounds like it’s time to turn up the heat then.” She tossed her hair, smiling up at Will. “Are you prepared to work with us?”

“What’s your plan?” Will asked.

“Lure him away from the main party and he’ll take a nice nap. Your team can take it from there. He should have what we need on him. Otherwise, we’ll persuade him. Once he wakes up.”

“If you can’t get what you need off him, what do you intend to do?” Will asked. “Since you’ve said we can have Renault.”

“I’m sure it’s on him,” Natasha replied. “He wouldn’t let it out of his sight.” She tilted her head slightly, indicating that she was going to talk to Clint. “Can you cover both of us?”

“Just stay in the sightlines I already gave you,” Clint told her.

“And you’ll let Bossman know what the plan is?” she confirmed. “I think we can change comm channels so Will’s team can hear us, too.”

“I’ve been monitoring you, Natasha,” a new voice broke in, causing Will to jump slightly as he was included in the conversation. “And Mr. Brandt and his team have been included in your channel. You should have no trouble communicating even if you are separated.”

“Hey, Dilly,” Clint’s voice came over the comm. Will and Natasha could both hear the smile in his voice.

Will refrained from rolling his gray eyes, but only just. “Hello, Peep. Do you two need my team to do anything?”

Natasha adjusted the bodice of her red dress as she smiled up at Will. “Just provide backup. We are very adept at what we do.”

As he watched her slink across the room towards where Renault was standing with a glass of champagne, he commented, “You know, I think I’m going to revise my comment, Peep, she’s very terrifying.”

“Oh, you have no idea, Dilly,” Clint replied.

“Cut the chatter, Barton, Brandt,” the voice cut in again.

“You ruin all my fun, Boss,” Clint cracked.

“Somehow I don’t think I ruin enough of your fun,” was the answer.

“I promised not to blow anything up. This time,” Clint said.

“This time?” Will broke in.

“Well there was that one time… In Bangladesh, wasn’t it?” Clint started. “It wasn’t exactly intentional.”

“Yes, but every other time, it has been. And I do believe you’re supposed to be watching Natasha.”

“I can multi-task!” Clint protested. “I can see her. And she hasn’t given me the signal yet.”

“Your ability to multi-task is not being called into question. Your attention to the mission on the other hand…”

Clint grumbled, but apparently subsided since his voice faded off. Will used the break to check in with his own team and make sure they had followed the change in plans. “Are you sure about this, Chief?” Alex asked, once Will had touched base with each of them.

“I trust one of them completely,” Will answered. “And if he trusts her, then…”

“You trust her, too?” Nicole broke in.

“Until she gives me a reason not to,” Will agreed. “She’s agreed to give us what we want. I see no reason not to work with them.”

“You do realize we can hear you, correct?” Natasha questioned.

“Don’t you have a job you’re supposed to be doing?” Will replied.

“Making contact now,” Natasha purred in response.

“This should be good,” Clint said, the glee almost evident in his voice.

“You enjoy your work entirely too much,” Will told him.

“Monsieur Renault,” Natasha spoke, approaching the mark with a coquettish smile. If Will hadn’t known who she was, he never would have suspected that she was capable of killing the man without blinking, and he watched in amazement as she charmed the scientist, drawing him out onto the balcony.

“Do you still have a shot?” Will murmured as he followed at a discrete distance.

“Yup. We planned for this. Give me a moment. Just… Waiting for Tasha’s signal,” Clint replied. “She’s going to need help. He’s going to go down pretty fast once I hit him.”

“I was just looking for some place with a little more privacy,” Will heard in a strange double tone through the comm and out loud as he slipped through the balcony door a few steps behind them.

He stepped onto the stones in time to see an arrow hit Renault dead center mass. “Clint!” he barked. “I thought you were just knocking him out.”

“Relax,” Clint’s easy drawl assured him. “It’s a tranq. I get aaall the fun toys now.”

“Archaic weapons,” Will snarked as he hurried forward to help Natasha who was actually glaring at him as she attempted to hold onto Renault’s dead weight.

His team had followed him out to the balcony and they skidded to a stop when they caught sight of the body on the ground. “Chief?” Flynn questioned. “Is that an arrow?”

“Clint? You wanna field that one?” Will replied.

A soft thump from behind answered him and the four IMF team members spun around, drawing their guns to point at him. The blonde raised his hands, a bow clutched in one of them. “I come in peace?” he joked.

Will rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t have given some warning?” He slid his gun back into his holster then crossed to the blonde, hugging him tightly. “Nice shot.”

“Did you really doubt me?” Clint asked with a grin.

Will smacked him gently on the back of the head. “Don’t get more cocky.”

“Barton. Explain.” Natasha’s face was a blank as she stared at the two identical looking men. Seeing them together, she could pick out differences and even if they had been dressed the same, she was sure she would be able to tell which one was her partner. Still they were amazingly similar looking.

The two men exchanged a long look before Will nodded once, clearly giving Clint permission to say whatever he wanted. “Tasha, this is my cousin, Will.” He turned to Will after his comment. “I’m actually surprised we haven’t run across you on one of our missions before now.”

“I guess I should be glad when our teams did bump into each other that it was on a mission you were on,” Will responded. “I don’t know that another team would have been so accommodating.”

“Probably not,” Clint agreed.

“That’s it?” Natasha demanded. “This is my cousin?”

Clint shrugged, exchanging another look with Will. “What else needs to be said?”

She made a motion between the two of them. “Your face?”

“What’s wrong with my face?” Clint wanted to know.

“Really? You’ve never noticed?” she asked.

“That got old when we were like…eight,” Will answered. “Yes, we look alike. Yes, we really are cousins. No, we are not twins separated at birth.”

Natasha nodded decisively. “Yes, he’s definitely related to you.”

“No offense to your family reunion, Chief,” Alex said, “but we really shouldn’t stick around much longer. Sooner or later someone is going to notice we all came out here.”

“Tasha?” Clint asked.

“Done,” she answered, standing up from where she’d been searching Renault. “Boss, our exit?” She groaned when she saw Clint’s grin. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“Nope,” Clint responded. “Not in the least.”

She sighed as she watched Clint pull a grappling arrow with a cord out of his quiver. “Just once I’d like to walk out of a party I attend with you.”

“But this is the fun way,” Clint replied with a grin.

“No, this is the adrenaline junkie way,” she said, even as she handed over the packet she’d made of the information so Clint could tuck it away in one of his pockets. “Try not to rip my dress this time.”

“It’s not like I do it on purpose.” Clint turned to Will. “Want us to cause a distraction before we jump? So you can shuffle Renault out of here with a minimum of fuss?”

“Thanks but I’ve seen your distractions,” Will said. “We’re fine. He had too much to drink, we’re just helping him out, et cetera, et cetera.”

“Ya blow one thing up on accident,” Clint muttered. “No one ever lets you forget it.”

“If it was only one thing…” Will trailed off. He clasped Clint’s arm. “Be safe, Peep.”

“Always, Dilly.” Clint used his grasp to pull his cousin into a tight hug. “It was good to see you.” He turned to Natasha, who’d used the time to twist her hair up and tie her skirt between her legs. “Ready?”

“As I can be. Boss?”

“I’ll meet you two down below,” the voice replied.

Clint secured the arrow, then waved to Will before wrapping his arm around Natasha’s waist. She secured her arms around his neck, getting a firm grip on his collar and a leg around one of his. Once he was sure she had a good grip, he leaped off the railing.

“Is he insane?” Nicole asked as the two disappeared from sight.

“No,” Will replied when there was no sound from the two vanished agents. He realized after a moment their comms had been cut-off from the others almost as soon as they disappeared over the side. “That’s just the way he is.” He motioned for Alex and Flynn to haul Renault up. “Let’s get moving. We don’t want to still be here when he wakes up.”


darling—chéri (female version—chérie)
mister—Monsieur